Beyond Love

Love is overrated. Thanks to all the Romcoms airing everyday somewhere and to our very own Bollywood for portraying this disillusioned emotion for centuries in the most picturesque way possible.  Marriage is a different story altogether. For people like me having grown up in a small town, idealizing a life post marriage with the very special one, staying in fantasy and experiencing a series of emotions every now and then is the most normal thing. But then, what about the clichés like happily ever after, happily married, fights make the love stronger and blah blah blah? The truth is, neither the clichés or the movies or your friend’s experience would tell you what love actually is. And what goes beyond. It is only you who will define the meaning of love for yourself and hey it’s perfectly alright. The reason why most people are unhappy (read deep down) with their current BFs/Husbands is not because he or she is not right for you. But maybe you got it wrong all this while. Whatever you have read or seen around you so far which made you believe in the concept of love was merely a compilation of individual experiences. Once you sign up for a relationship love stays just one aspect of it and not the whole of it.

Yes it is beautiful to have someone by your side, to hold hands when in public or otherwise, to see that one person wait for you when no one else does. But what does it take to find that person? Well the person doesn’t exist anywhere. You have to strive to make that person into the one. And yes, it may take a lifetime for you!

Beyond Love is a place where there is compromise, grief, confusion and everything else. A place you tend to go eventually where it’s all about the other person in your life. You tend to lose yourself and give everything you have, to that special person. And this is not just once. A place you keep visiting every now and then. Nobody tells you about it but everybody has it. You are the only one who can carve it out for yourself like I did. It aids you in dealing with life and its emotions headstrong.

Amidst the social, your soul

Ever found yourself wondering why you are more anxious than before, feel some unknown pressure or that you are a part of a never ending race?

Leave aside the profession, as an individual there is a constant urge to want what the other has. Remember the time in school when after the summer break we would really wait for school to reopen so we could flaunt our newly bought stationery, bags and water bottles to the extent as to whose name sticker is cooler than whose. The concept still is the same even now that we are adults. The only difference being this yearly feeling is now routine and overpowering our lives with updating the latest. It’s not wrong but how much is right, is the catch. Even if you deny it does affect you at subconscious level. Travel pictures, Food pictures, adventure pictures, people having babies, getting married, new job, new business etc etc etc.

I am sure you have seen jokes floating around of people concentrating more to get just the right click of the platter of food they have just been served than the dish itself. The better the click, followed by the likes, the tastier the food feels. I find myself sometimes in annoying situations when I can’t have what my “social media” friends have or seem to have. It affects to a level where I am dissatisfied with almost everything I have. Then this periodic realization sets in that it is only the virtual world and I don’t know what the “real” story is and that makes me less dissatisfied. Then there are times when I am happy copying things what others seem to portray as fun and living life to the fullest activities. It really is a game.

And if you are the kind of person who can quickly get influenced then I say welcome to the gang! Let almighty help us! I agree that this society that we are living in now has certain factors which are unavoidable with social media presence topping the list and you have to be a part of it to stay relevant.

This article was just to make you ponder over your thoughts. What occupies the maximum space in your mind? Are you on the right page? May be take some time off from the virtual world and enjoy the real things. Amidst the social self get off for your soul health. And then re-check your anxiety levels. May be you will get a good news!! 

Love

Hustle Hassle

 I was just speaking to a friend of mine the other day, a young mother of a 2 year old. It is amazing to see how your own friends from school you have grown up with, transform so beautifully from being pampered daughters to responsible daughter-in-laws and then caring and gentle mothers.

A child does bring in a lot of joy in the family and makes the parents bond stronger than ever. But meanwhile the “parenting”, “wifeing” and “daughter in-law-ing”, there goes a lot of a woman into keeping up to each role. Sleepless nights, losing track of time, feeding the baby, taking care of the house it all happens simultaneously. Seeing a lot of them around I can really recollect my mother running around the house like a superhuman managing everything under the sun to offer the best to her family. It is amazing how women inherit this quality and mold themselves only to give selflessly.

While many of them do it unconditionally and are satisfied with the way their lives take shape,there are times with each one of them when they just want to feel liberated from the daily hustle hassle. I am sure all the lovely women reading this have compromised on their dreams, hobbies even specific food habits just to manage and fit in better. This post is dedicated to all those ladies who pour their heart and soul to nurture their families.

Though I am not a mother yet but just juggling between work and home leaves me exhausted with no time to myself. 

It’s a constant fight within them whether to think of everything or just themselves for a change. And when they actually do there is a tendency to feel guilty. Come on you ladies, as human beings you can only give better if you feel better and there is no harm in indulging in some “me” time once in a while. As women it’s normal to feel lonely even when you are surrounded with people who love you while handling everything from a brush, baby, better half, brunch and bed. But it would be magical to keep that little spark of being self alive. I have started writing to express and steal a few minutes every day just for myself. What would you do? 

Would love to see your answers. Let's inspire.

Love

What's your more?

Ever heard yourself saying Oh I wish I had this car or Oh why can’t I be so slim, I wish I had more money etc. etc. Human tendency is always craving for more than it already has and with so many options to pick from, this lust for more is ever growing. Sometimes, I feel our parents’ generation or the generation before that was much happier. Contended with their lives and available resources they had much more to gain from life. And hence their lives were less complicated.

All of us have more to desire from everything- job, health, social status, relationships, income, love and the list goes on. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs a person in his life ascends from satisfying his physiological needs to self actualization needs. Thinking deeper, it may also mean that to satisfy a higher order need you are invariably saying I don’t want more of the lower order ones or getting more or less of that won’t have any significant impact.

Well theory per say it may sound obvious but does it actually happen that way? You would never find a person saying I don’t want more money or I don’t want good health or a better social status. Now that you are reading this, just pause for 5 minutes and ask yourself, “What’s my more?”

Feeling Puzzled? Don’t worry. When I asked this to myself, it struck; oh jeez I am not really running after wanting for more but focusing more on being better than someone else. A better spouse than my friends’, wanting a better house than my colleagues’/friends’ or a better paying job. It is not wrong to want more but this shift in mindset would give you more (Happiness) because there would always be someone who has ‘more’ than what you have. So get more for yourself, rather than more than someone or something else. And keep asking, “What’s my more?” 

Should I? I should

How often have you been in a situation where you have to pick one between two of your favorite things? If you say not many, god really has blessed you! But otherwise, majority of the human race has been into this numerous times. With “things” it’s still easy, the challenge occurs when you have to choose between either ways of reacting to something you feel vulnerable about.

At different stages in your life, you will encounter situations where you really aren’t sure of the consequences. Should I marry this guy or that guy? Should I tell my parents I want to quit engineering/medical/CA etc.(Basically whatever you did not want to pursue by your choice)? Should I tell my partner what annoys me? Should I leave my job to pursue my dreams? Should I follow my heart or mind? Should I this or that? Tough it is.

How many times have you “Should..ied”? Yes, It is annoying to find yourself in this zone. But the positive side, you have them. Choice is a privilege that not many enjoy ;). The key to this zone I feel is acceptance. Accept that there are things you may not have answers to. Instead of reacting right there and then, wait. Think through. Stop judging yourself; you may not have answers to them now, but surely you will have them sometime. And even if you don’t, leave it to time. It will help you decide on your priorities. How? Try it to know it ;)